A Daughter's Perspective

I remember the day I found out that my mother, who is only 53, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I was coming home from the gym, just starting to return to some form of a normal life after having lost my aunty, Mum’s sister, to breast cancer only three months earlier. My sister rang me and said the dreaded words - Mum has cancer. I felt horrified, scared and rather distraught. I sat in my car for a while; I did not want to go home and see Mum, for I feared my reaction in front of her.

I pulled myself together and when I walked in the door there was complete silence in my house, even though ten people sat at the dinner table. I went up to Mum, who looked pale and tired, and I gave her a hug. She said, “What are we going to do?” I replied, “You are going to fight it and win.” I left the table to sit on the bathroom floor, crying my little heart out at the thought of having to go through all of it again.

The tests to diagnose the type of cancer, the scans to find out how far it had spread, the consultations to determine the type of treatment - all that, to end in a hospital bed fighting for a last breath. My aunts last days were all too vivid in my mind and I felt such fear that that was going to happen to my mother. I could not move. I pulled myself together again, and cleaned myself up to disguise the tears that had been gushing out.

It took two weeks, including a hysterectomy, to properly diagnose Mum with ovarian cancer. The first visit we had with the oncologist was the scariest, for it was the unknown that made it all the more fearful. All I can remember is the strength my mother had when she asked, “How bad is it? Will I die? How long do I have to live?” The worst part was the oncologist could not answer any of these questions, for she knew nothing yet.

Mum has now just come home from her hysterectomy and will begin chemotherapy soon, yet she is still recovering from such a big operation. I cannot understand what she is thinking, yet I know that she has a will to live, she is not ready to go yet and she keeps on repeating this to me. She wants to see her two (with another on the way) grandchildren grow up and see me married.

So all I know is that now it is my turn to take care of her and that finally Mum will put herself first. And all I know is that she will do the best she can to fight it and that we, her family and friends, will be by her side the whole time. And all I know is that she will be around to see me walk down the aisle on my wedding day and be there when I first become a mum.

I am proud of who I am and what I am and a huge part of that is because of my mum. I am a medical research scientist and now am only too eager to continue working hard to hopefully make some difference to someone's life someday. For I now know how discovering something new in the lab, can make someone's life very different and that someone could be my mum.

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