Cyndee, 42 years

Hi, my name is Cyndee DePastino from the USA and I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, Stage 3, in April 2000 at 42 years of age. I have had sub-optimal debulking surgery and chemotherapy, (nine rounds taxol/carboplatin).

Right before the holidays, I noticed I was beginning to gain weight. I was tired all the time, so I hoped this busy time of year would pass by quickly. My back ached and I tried to explain the pain by telling myself, "Of course I'm tired. I work a 40-hour week and go to school full-time. When I'm not at work or school, I am sitting in front of my computer, writing papers or doing assignments. That's enough to wear anyone out and make their back ache." I couldn't wait for the semester to be over. I needed a break.

Christmas came and went and I dreaded putting the decorations away. "God," I thought, "my back is just killing me. It's got to be that I am just doing way too much and my body is telling me about it. I think I'll take a pillow to work; maybe it's the chair, or the way I'm sitting at my desk; that should help." It didn't. I remember being in class one Friday night and complaining about the desk, (the kind with the chair attached). I felt squished; I was so uncomfortable. No one else was complaining, but my professor actually went into another classroom and brought me a new desk. It didn't help. I still felt like I had to squeeze into it. The other problem I had in this class was that I kept falling asleep. Imagine my embarrassment when the professor would call on me. I must have been listening while I dozed because, luckily, I was able to answer the question once I asked him to repeat it.
At work, things weren't much different. I never fell asleep, but it seemed that, as my body got bigger and my clothes smaller, my boss, and her boss began to notice. One day I was called into the big boss's office. They wanted to address my body language and posture. They did not like the way I was slouching in chairs, and wondered why I was dressing so casually. They said it wasn't like me.

Yes, I was mad. Well, beyond mad, really. I told them I had gained weight and my business suits no longer fit me properly. And as for my posture, it was because of the tremendous back aches I was having. They suggested I go shopping and learn to sit up straight.

One night, as I was lying in bed, I rolled over onto my tummy to get comfortable enough to sleep. As I lay there, I realized I was feeling something in my abdomen. I was experiencing the same sensation as when I was pregnant. I remember feeling sick inside. Since I knew I wasn't pregnant, this meant only one thing. Something else was growing in my abdomen.

It was now early April.

The next day my goal was to get to a gynecologist. This wasn't as easy as I thought. I discovered that the gynecologist given to me by my insurance had retired. I was advised that the other doctors were far too busy to see a new patient with problems. I remember being upset at this. Why are doctors there, I wondered, if not to see patients with problems? I consoled myself by thinking maybe I should be glad these types of doctors were not taking care of me.

Eventually, I found a doctor, but couldn't get an appointment until May 2nd. Easter was early that year, and I was in pain. I couldn't sit and I couldn't lie down. All I could do was rock back and forth.

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