Ingrid's Story

It was my Dad’s 50th birthday the day Mum found out she had ovarian cancer. It’s insane how your whole world can be turned upside down in less than 30 seconds. Just three seemingly little words “I have cancer” and everything changes.

That was back in 2006, when I was 21 years old and my younger sisters were only 19 and 16. I wasn’t living at home – which means my experience of Mum being sick was a little different to the rest of my family – who spent each day with her at home.

Mum went through surgery to start and then chemotherapy. She got pretty sick and lost all her hair during that first lot of chemo. She hated every minute of it. Chemo is not a natural thing by any stretch of the imagination and I think the thought of what else it “could” be doing to her - made it all the more difficult to handle.

We went through two years of ups and downs. Mum tried alternative treatments and went through another lot of chemo after the cancer came back. Then just when we thought everything was okay, she started to feel sick again. I think she knew the whole time that it must have come back, and come back pretty bad, but we didn’t speak about it. Mum preferred it that way. She didn’t want people pitying her or treating her like she was sick “just because she had cancer.” She only wanted to spend time with those people who wouldn’t ask the questions and wouldn’t want to know how she was feeling all the time. She just wanted to live and enjoy life - so that was what we all tried to do. We went on family holidays for the first time in many years and we spent plenty of time just sitting around and talking about life.

The last time Mum went into hospital, I was preparing to build my and my now-husband’s new home. We were allowed to take Mum out to visit our vacant block – and then out again with Dad to see the display home for the house we were building - it was a big step and an exciting time in my life. Then on Labour Day weekend in 2008, we found out Mum’s cancer had spread into her liver and that there was nothing further the doctors could do. She was going to die. We took her home from the hospital within a day of finding out and spent the next ten days at home as a family. On Easter Saturday, she passed away.

Everyone deals with grief differently, it’s a very individual thing – even within my own family. I’ve chosen to deal with it by continuing to live my life – since Mum passed away – I have moved into my house, gotten married and am now planning to travel around the world with my husband. I think about Mum almost every single day and more often than not, will shed a quiet tear or two, that she is no longer around to enjoy things with me.

I know Mum was big on living life and enjoying it as much as possible… so that’s is what I am doing.

Support Ingrid’s fundraising efforts at http://www.everydayhero.com.au/ingrid_k

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