Joe Palermo: A partner’s story

I met my partner Kim in my first year at high school. She became my first girlfriend but because we were so young, our lives moved on and we lost contact. We each married and had three children.

When our respective marriages failed, fate intervened and we found each other again. We couldn’t believe our luck and thought we had the chance to be together into our old age. Kim moved to Melbourne in 2002 and we spent the next couple of years happily getting on with our future.

Then in June 2005, Kim went to the doctor, after several weeks of complaining of backache and bloating. Her doctor thought it was a dietary problem but Kim was not so sure. It was not until she started gasping for air one night and was rushed to hospital that we came to know the awful truth.
Tests showed that Kim had fluid around her lung and then further tests showed she had ovarian cancer. We were shocked to discover that the pap-smears Kim had always been careful to have, every two years, did not detect ovarian cancer.

We abruptly learnt about this silent killer and began the long journey through surgery and chemotherapy. While I lived in dread of losing her again, Kim remained positive throughout. She focused on living long enough to see her grandson born and celebrating her 50th birthday; both things she achieved.

It was during a helicopter ride for her birthday that Kim once again became short of breath, and we rushed to hospital. This time her lung had collapsed and she needed surgery to repair it. Then, after only a few days at home, Kim was readmitted, for the last time.

We spoke of the plans she had made for her own funeral - the red dress and stilettos she wanted to be dressed in and the red coffin. I said goodbye to my high school sweetheart and Kim left us on the last day of Ovarian Cancer Awareness Week in 2008.

I now devote time to raising awareness of ovarian cancer, in the hope that the knowledge that might have saved Kim could save other women, and their loved ones, from this silent killer.

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